The Objective Of This Site
Simple, really. I wanted to share my experiences in prison, with an emphasis on the growth some of my fellow inmates and I have found here. I want people to know that everyone can learn from their mistakes and rise above them, no matter how unlikely that may seem. The inspiration for the title came as I realized that the best thing, the happiest thing for me was to spend my time here serving others. 
Please also check out a companion site called The 2 Pillars Project which focuses on some of the ways that the ‘outside’ community can help make the experience of the women who are here truly a new beginning. To learn more go to https://2PillarsProject.com.
A Good Place To Start
As I mentioned in my bio, my current home is a very small cell in a very large women’s prison called Perryville in the middle of the Arizona desert. While I was still in the county jail awaiting court/sentencing my thoughts were probably no different from anyone else in that situation – “What can I say or do to get out of this mess? This can’t be happening to me- I’m a good person who just made a mistake!”
‘There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.’
–John Holmes
–John Holmes
For the first time in my life, I faced the prospect of losing my freedom, not just for a week or a month, but for years. And it scared the hell out of me. But the consequences were out of my control and no amount of denial could change them so I arrived a few weeks later at the prison, certain it would be the very worst thing that could ever happen to me. Now, not quite halfway through my sentence I look back and realize that I’ve learned lessons, changed and grown more than I would have imagined.
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Dear Mom – Aug 2018
“Mom, I know that you are probably stressed out about me being over here and away from Pie, my friends, my job and everything. But don’t worry too much, it’s fine. I’m very adaptable - I’ve gotten much better at calmly dealing with stressful situations. I feel I have handled this whole thing with the ticket very well, with grace and maturity (except my comment to the Sgt asking him if he felt important! But nobody is perfect. Baby steps. LOL!) ...
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Hell’s Kitchen
The Santa Cruz chow hall isn't quite hell's kitchen but close- so most of us try to come up with creative 'food choices' as it were. And ever since I found a dead fly in my salad, I've been extra motivated to create! What's that saying about necessity being the father (or mother) or invention? I was lucky enough to score some knock-off Bisquick from the kitchen (my secret how that happened) and with that I've made chicken pot pie, cakes and pancakes as a start. I've also made a dough, seasoned it and folded in ham and cheese for a homemade Hot Pocket- that one was a hit. (I can hardly write that without singing the little jingle from the commercial!) I'm next going to attempt strawberry cheesecake pancakes using strawberry soda mixed with Bisquick for the batter and my cheesecake filling recipe previously posted. That will be this weekend's project. Food works wells for entrepreneurial efforts in here too. There were a couple of girls going around and selling home-made tamales the other day. They got together and made 50 or so chicken tamales, wrapped them individually in plastic and sold them for a dollar a piece. Did ...
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Prison for Dummies Part 4 – Points and why you don’t want them
In a previous post, I talked a little about the different custody levels. When you arrive at Perryville you have a certain number of points assigned to you. Age, the length of your sentence and what you are charged with are all factored in. For instance, each year under 30 that you are adds points. Don't ask me why, I can't explain it. If you have a high-level felony conviction or you are considered a 'violent' offender as opposed to a 'non-violent' offender- more points. And points determine whether you are assigned to a minimum, medium or maximum custody yard. But here's the rub. You can be ‘re-classed’- happens all the time. Just because you start out in a minimum custody yard does not mean you will stay there. Officers can issue 'tickets' for a variety of offenses, large and small. And each ticket adds points to your score, anywhere from 3 to 40, like the way it works with traffic tickets and your driver's license. Fighting, getting caught with drugs or alcohol, those are what you'd expect to be penalized for. But how about your shirt not being tucked in or your pants hanging over the top of your ...
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“Neither a borrower nor a lender be”
Here's something interesting I didn't know until I got here. It's called the '2 for 1' rule. This is how it works: If you run out of something and you really want it right now, don't want to wait the 7-14 days for it to be delivered from the commissary, you could go to another inmate and ask her to 'two for one it'. This means she gives you one now (maybe a container of shampoo, say) and you pay her back with two containers of shampoo when your order arrives. Do the math! Yes, that is 100% interest! Crazy, but Bank of America doesn't have a branch here so...it's what's done. There are girls who run their own little store. They keep at least one of most items available from commissary and they just 2 for 1 whatever you need! They do a brisk business because girls are always running out of life's necessities- like coffee and cigarettes. Instant gratification comes at a steep price ...
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Secret Santa – Wrapped Up
The Secret Santa project went pretty great- the bags we put together were amazing- stuffed full! Someone even made little individualized cards to go with each one. My friends and I delivered them on Christmas Eve and all the recipients were so excited. Some even cried. I know first hand what it meant to them. When I first got to Cruz I had nothing to even wash my hair with and I would have given anything for a package of just the basics. But they got lots of yummy goodies too for those times you really need a snack. It was fun to see how happy they all were. I did get a little bit of blow-back when a couple of girls nosed around until they found out who'd put the whole thing together and then came to my door demanding to know why they didn't get one! Sigh. I had to diffuse that situation, but on the whole the Secret Santa project was a good thing, so worth the money and effort. Thanks to everyone on the outside and inside who helped out! ...
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Secret Santa at Perryville
It’s Christmas! Even those who’ve been naughty deserve something nice! As you know I’ve mentioned how prison is rough for those women who don’t have support from the outside- and that includes financial support. The prison provides the inmates classed as ‘indigent’ with a very small amount of basic necessities- a bar of soap, toothbrush and toothpaste, a 5” comb, deodorant and shampoo. Unfortunately, the toothpaste tastes horrible, the deodorant doesn’t work, and the shampoo tangles up hair so that the little 5” comb can’t get through it! Better than nothing of course- but just. So I decided to do a little ‘Secret Santa‘ thing for the women who have no support. With the help of my family and some other kind people, I am putting together small care packages with better quality soap, shampoo, conditioner, 2 razors, a Chapstick and some goodies like cheese and crackers, a candy bar, cookies and a ‘kit’ for a cup of coffee Christmas morning. The goal is for 15 gift baskets but if I can get additional donations from some of the more fortunate women here perhaps, we can do a few more. I’m excited to see these women get an unexpected- and ...
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Halloween at Perryville- Trick or Treat?
Well, the good news is we all had ready-made costumes- yep you guessed it! We were all dressed as orange pumpkins- which isn't any fun since we all look like pumpkins every day 24-7. So a few girls decided to turn it up a bit and do some festive face painting since we do have access to some makeup and art supplies. They added little cat whiskers or a few fake stitches like a mummy to their faces, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, the powers that be don't have an appreciation for creative holiday spirit, because they issued them tickets for 'attempting to escape' ...
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