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There’s Hope Out There

A friend of mine was released from Perryville a few months ago.  She’s an amazing person – intelligent, beautiful and fun.  She wrote this text message to my mom yesterday and gave me permission to share it so you know that life can hold wonderful possibilities, even after years behind bars.  People can change! “I am good. I still work at the same place. I’m still super busy and involved with recovery stuff. Still, go to meetings every day and working with a sponsor. I spend weekends with my son… Would love a day where I had nowhere to go and nothing to do!!

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Prison for Dummies – Part 2 (Survival Tips)

Here are some basic tips if you ever find yourself facing time on the inside- Of course the best tip is just to avoid getting sent here in the first place!  But if worse comes to worse… First and foremost be aware of your surroundings.  Don’t ‘get caught slippin’ which just means letting your guard down.  And project the right attitude- a little stand-offish with a ‘don’t mess with me’ look without being aggressive or mean.  Be polite but not too friendly or sweet because you will be thought of as naïve or weak and will get bullied. Always choose your words very carefully. Remember- respect is a big deal!  These guidelines are especially important when you are new and have no idea who to trust. “Neither a borrower or a lender be.” If other inmates offer to ‘help’ you by giving you things (shampoo, coffee, etc) don’t take it!  At some point, they will come back and want something in return and if you don’t have it, then you could be in trouble.  And don’t ‘feed the strays’ as they say here, which means if someone asks you for something, simply say ‘Sorry, I can’t.”   For instance, if you give one girl a cigarette, she will then point others in your direction and if you don’t help them too, it becomes an argument or a fight. (The respect thing again).  It’s sad that the system doesn’t lend itself to kindness or camaraderie but it is what it is. One

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Perryville pests- the birds and the bees…and the bugs

We have lots of birds that hang around here but not the kind you’d see in a Mary Poppins movie- think Alfred Hitchcock instead! These aren’t afraid of people at all- in fact, they’re so bold they come to grab food right out of our hand! If that doesn’t sound a little scary it gets worse. Many of these unfortunate critters are…deformed! The women come outside to comb their hair and the birds hopping around, scavenging for food end up with long strands of hair wrapped around their feet or neck or wings. With no way to get it off. Or they land on the razor wire on the top of the walls and fences and slice off toes or entire feet. Incredibly grotesque and frankly disturbing!

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It’s the little things…

Life on Cruz yard is a bit like life must have been in the 1800’s. A blast from the past you could say. Many of the modern conveniences I took for granted are non-existent here. Take the simple task of doing laundry for example. I remember complaining when my entire efforts consisted of stuffing my clothes in the machine, pouring in the laundry soap and pushing a button!

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Prison for Dummies – Part 1

The prison here is divided up into sections called yards, each with various buildings and outdoor exercise area. There are three minimum security yards, with populations ranging from 225 to almost 2,000 women and two medium yards which house about 1,500 each. Then there’s San Pedro. It is the medical yard where anyone with a chronic illness gets sent- if you are on any type of medication you also will go to Pedro. Lumley is the maximum-security yard (the Bad Girls’ Club as it’s also called). And last and worst-a fenced off section for death row inmates who are literally locked in cages 23 hours a day. Like a dog pound, but with people in it.

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Three strikes, you’re out!

A funny thing happened on the yard today…(Isn’t that how a lot of jokes start out?) I was sitting outside with a couple of friends and I heard the beginnings of an argument developing. Sure enough, two women were ‘getting into it’, voices starting to raise, uncomplimentary names being hurled back and forth. I couldn’t tell for sure but it seemed the issue was about one owing the other a cup of ice. Trivial perhaps, but in this environment, almost anything can escalate into a fight.

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Haboob!

We got hit by another haboob last night. In case you’re not from Arizona or the Sahara Desert a haboob is a dust storm on steroids, really the closest thing to a natural disaster we have here.  As the cloud of dust envelops the landscape, the sky turns almost dark as night even in the middle of the afternoon.

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Dear Mom – Aug 2018

“Mom, I know that you are probably stressed out about me being over here and away from Pie, my friends, my job and everything. But don’t worry too much, it’s fine. I’m very adaptable – I’ve gotten much better at calmly dealing with stressful situations. I feel I have handled this whole thing with the ticket very well, with grace and maturity (except my comment to the Sgt asking him if he felt important! But nobody is perfect. Baby steps. LOL!)

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A Good Place To Start

My name is Sabrina and as I mentioned in my bio, my current home is a very small cell in a very large women’s prison called Perryville in the middle of the Arizona desert. While I was still in the county jail awaiting court/sentencing my thoughts were probably no different from anyone else in that situation – “What can I say or do to get out of this mess?  This can’t be happening to me-  I’m a good person who just made a mistake!”

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Dear Mom – Jul 2018

Now moved to Cruz Yard!! “There’s nothing to do here but read and sleep and it’s kinda’ starting to get me depressed, which is hard to do really. I’m sure once the summer heat ebbs a bit it won’t be as bad, but it’s so miserable to even leave my room that I don’t go to eat meals. It like 110 degrees in the chow hall and they have to get so many people fed it’s like boot camp- get in, eat fast, and get out. It’s just too stressful, I’d rather not go at all.”

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