Here are some basic tips if you ever find yourself facing time on the inside- Of course the best tip is just to avoid getting sent here in the first place! But if worse comes to worse…
First and foremost be aware of your surroundings. Don’t ‘get caught slippin’ which just means letting your guard down. And project the right attitude- a little stand-offish with a ‘don’t mess with me’ look without being aggressive or mean. Be polite but not too friendly or sweet because you will be thought of as naïve or weak and will get bullied. Always choose your words very carefully. Remember- respect is a big deal! These guidelines are especially important when you are new and have no idea who to trust.
“Neither a borrower or a lender be.”
If other inmates offer to ‘help’ you by giving you things (shampoo, coffee, etc) don’t take it! At some point, they will come back and want something in return and if you don’t have it, then you could be in trouble. And don’t ‘feed the strays’ as they say here, which means if someone asks you for something, simply say ‘Sorry, I can’t.” For instance, if you give one girl a cigarette, she will then point others in your direction and if you don’t help them too, it becomes an argument or a fight. (The respect thing again). It’s sad that the system doesn’t lend itself to kindness or camaraderie but it is what it is.
One of the hardest things for me has been seeing others getting punked and bullied and not being able to stand up for them. Sad to say, there’s no shortage of that type of behavior. But stepping in to defend somebody is risky and could easily turn into a situation where you find yourself outnumbered by a group of girls itching for a good ole fashioned beat down! I admit that there have been a couple of times when I let my indignation overcome my common sense, though.
Okay, now you have the lowdown on life on the inside- hope you never need it!.